The Grumpiest Man I Know (GMIK)

Every weekday, some one comes around to all of the cottages at CSU and collects all of the full rubbish bags. For the longest time, I didn't know who did this, I figured it was some sort of magical rubbish fairy because I had never seen a full bag being removed.

One sunny day in April, I was walking down to the laundry to swap in my sheets for a fresh set. On my way down, this golf cart nearly hits me. The golf cart, seating a large old man, goes into the laundry area and basically blocks off the entrance way to where I was going. I squinted at him and realized that he was sitting there, staring at me, and shaking his head 'no' with an absolute scowl on his face.

I wish I could snap a picture of him so you could see, but my words will have to suffice. Picture this: Guy in his 60s, about 6 feet high, white hair with PLENTY of facial stubble. I'd give him about 325-350 pounds, constantly wearing a red wine colored CSU polo shirt (always dirty of course), frowning, and driving around on this horribly run down golf cart (ratty seats, dirty EVERYTHING, the WORKS).

So, I'm walking down toward the laundry and this scowling man is blocking my path and shaking his head. Turns out, he was shaking his head because the laundry was closed . I knew this, but luckily, I'm in like flint with the laundry chicas, so I knew that they would switch my sheets. As I got closer to him, challenging him, I thought he may run me over. When I walked passed him, he squeaked out in a very bushmen accent "They're CLOSED!" in a really angry voice. (Think Crocodile Dundee!) When I defied him and got my sheets, I smiled at him and did my best Australian "G'Day!"

As I walked away, I remember thinking, "Wow, that was the grumpiest man I've ever met."

Oh, but the story isn't over.

I keep seeing him now, every day. Scowling, picking up rubbish on his golf cart. In the same shirt. When chatting with a mate about him, I reckoned that he must have been the grumpiest man I'd ever met. Nathan replied to that: "You'd be grumpy as well if you had to pick up rubbish all day." Au contrare mon ami, I would be thrilled to be driving that hot golf cart!

Last part, I promise. Last thursday, I was down in the coin laundry doing my washing. Imagine my surprise when I find Nathan there, and I have someone to chat with. We're sitting on washers, chatting, and in walks CSUs washer repair man. We chat with him for a bit until, lo and behold, GMIK barrels in and says, "What have they GOD DAMNED DONE NOW?!" I glanced over at Nathan, whose eyes were the size od saucers, and then looked at GMIK and said "Oh! Hello!"

He cold stared me in the face, took two steps toward me, and shook his head "no". I stared right back. I was acutely aware that my lips turned up in a grin while I was staring at him. When he saw that, he got disgusted, went "BUH!" at me and waved his arm, then turned his attention to washer repair man.

I walked out of the laundry with Nathan in tow, both smiling. What a grumpy fuck! Honestly.

Every time I've seen him since and will continue to see him, I will smile. And I will get a head shake. And I will laugh, continuously.

See, not all of the grumpy people live in the States. Australia, look no further then your own country backyard. :-)

Did I ever mention that Reese's Peanut Butter cups are not available in Oz? These people clearly have no idea what they are missing!

Cheers Big Ears

Jobless Money Bags

I just realized that a week has passed with no entry from me. Soon Alison will IM me and tell me to write about something else so she can read it at work. :-P

I guess I'm....busy. I've had assignments and tests and tastings and whatnot due this past week, and it keeps coming! This is my punishment for not doing any work last term. :-) As if wine tasting were harsh punishment. ;-)

On a side note, things have gotten complicated quickly because I cannot seem to find gainful employment here. If you all remember, me coming here was hinging on me being able to find a job. Well, I have applied for every stinking job that has come my way with NO AVAIL. I'm taking a course next week that will certify me to serve alcohol, then I will try to get a job at the cellar door (tasting room) here on campus. I've talked to the head of my school and told him that I need a job or I will be headed home, and he's told me he'll see what he can do.

So, in a moment of panic, I brainstormed that it would be a good idea for me to come stateside after my july res schools, work a vintage on the west coast (some conditions applying, obviously), bank some money, then go back to Oz after Christmas. I've got a phone interview with a winery in OR and one in WA. So, that could be promising. Obviously, this little plan is not without it's glitches and complications, so I have to decided.

So, yea, I hate being poor and apparently unemployable. So, if anyone wants to send some money to pay tuition or some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Crest Toothpaste, I would like that. Hehe.

That is all, I must go unlock the mysteries of the human sense organs now.

Cheerio

Animal Planet

I swear to God. It's a freakin' wonder I get any sleep in this country. So, I'm a stickler for sleeping with the window open. Not wide open these days, because it's getting to be chilly. But still, open.

When I first got here and managed to get over the shock of the kangaroos, I noticed these gray birds with bright red undersides hanging around. Every bird around here looks like it should be in a pet shop because it is brightly colored and vocal. It's not uncommon to see the birds that we're used to seeing behind bars roaming free here. But, these red breasted birds were numerous and they were loud. After asking several times, I finally learned that they were called galahs. (Guh-Laa-s) I knew I had heard that word before, but I didn't know where. Well, it turns out that it's a common stupidity insult to call someone a galah or a group of someones a "pack of galahs". I wondered why they would designate a mean slur after these gorgeous birds!

As with most pretty things, galahs are extremely dumb. They don't move when you're coming by, they just stare at you. They don't ever shut up, and they let the tiniest movement spook them. They are also EXTREMELY noisy. I mean, ridiculously and constantly noisy. My first few nights here I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on, I kept hearing "chiiiii chiiiiii" outside my window. 4 pm or 4 am, the galahs sound the same. Chiiiii Chiiiiiiii. Ahhhhhhh.





I adapted to the galahs eventually, I daresay I even missed them when I was in Adelaide! :-O

Recently,however, a new problem has arisen. It must be mating season or something for the native possums here. I was peacefully resting the other night (under my open window) and suddenly I was awoken to a terrible cawing and growling noise. I thought for sure that there were small black bears outside of my window. I shut the window and fell back asleep, vaguely wondering what the hell the problem was. The following night, the same thing happened. And the following night. I finally inquired as to what the ridiculous sounding mammal was. "Oh, those are the possums.", Michelle informed me, matter-of-factly, "They'll do that for a while." Oh great!

The first time I saw one of these curious looking Australia creatures was at the school of wine and food sciences bbq. We were under the covered pavillon behind an academic building eating and chatting, and all of a sudden this god damned possum dropped out of the tree right next to me into the trash can. I jumped back quickly and said something to the effect of "Kill it Kill it! It must be rabid!" All of the people standing around me gave me the most puzzled looks, and I was dumbfounded. No rabies here, of course. I think that incident is what started the perception around the school that I am a little bit nutter, and it doesn't help that I always run into people because I walk on the wrong side of the hallway/sidewalk. Haha.





This pic is from National Geographic, I hope it lets me hot link it because I think it's a funny picture of the little buggers.

Fucking Wildlife.

Cheers Big Ears, and Watch your step, those galahs don't move!

What Kind Of Freaks

See that gorgeous American Flag behind me? FANTASTIC!

What Kind of Freaks....

*don't have peanut butter M&Ms?
*don't have mozz sticks?
*don't have dollar bills?
*make their two dollar coins irritatingly small?
*put prawns on their pizzas, with the EYES still on them?
*store normal OTC meds behind the counter so you have to talk to the pharmacist to get anything that's not herbal? Maybe I don't want to talk to the pharmacist about my hemorrhoids!!! (Yes, I just had to google the spelling of hemorrhoid. Who gave me a college degree?)
*pick on a country that really doesn't care about them?
*drive on the wrong side of the road and car, but keep the pedals in the same order?!
*can possibly drink themselves silly and be at work bright eyed and chipper at 7:30 the next morning? (We pre-game like they party, these people get drunk easily because of the heat, I think)
*carry their young in pouches?
*don't keep their milk in coolers?
*don't keep their eggs in coolers?! Hello salmonella! (Looked that one up too!)
*conduct education via distance learning models when people don't sign up for that?
*don't wear shoes when running errands? Come on now.
*charge you some sort of fee for every last little thing?
*refuse to pass you on a walking path if you're going slower than them, they just follow really really closely?
*mix navy blue and black...come on Aussie chicks, you're hotter then that!?
*have post codes with 4 digits in them? It's like stopping mid-cough...who does that?

Okay, I think I am through. :-)


Come on now. Who really want to talk to the pharmacist about their life?

Cheers Big Ears

Things I Like About Australia

Sometimes, I need to make lists to remind myself of things. Tonight, I need to make a list of the things I like here so I can convince myself it's worth staying. :-)

Things I Like About Australia (Explained):

1. Tim Tams. Delightful little chocolate cookies at 2 dollars a pack. Delish.
2. Kangaroos.
3. The lack of pennies-- no pennies in the coin system. Amazing!
4. Havianas -- The flip flop brand here...unlike any other I've experienced...and I love flip flops.
5. Tasmanian Feta Cheese -- Amazing. Enough said.
6. Wine Science Second Years -- delightful group of people.
7. Wine tasting as part of my curriculum. Ahhh, fantastic.
8. Selected Slang Words/Phrases: Good On Ya (Nice Job!), You're a legend (You rock!), Bugger! (Shit!)
9. Sunshine
10. Bundaberg Rum-- mmmmm tasty!
11. Cooper's Pale Ale -- I will hurt for this beer when I move away from here.
12. Steph, Jer Bear, Nathan, Megan, Melissa, MJ, Marissa, Jacob, Michelle, Declan, Rob -- I would say that those people make up my favorite people
13. Knowing what happens on all of the TV shows because they are 4 months behind and hanging it above their heads....very fun.
14. Telling Australians that their education system is funny. Who sets "passing" as 50% and actually let's people graduate with it? Come on now. Would you want your doctors and nurses to only know 50%? I don't think so, so I love picking on them.
15. NO autodrip coffee. Only espresso. Fantastic.

That is all.

:-)

Cheers

The American Dream

I think I figured out the problem. I think there is just a basic disagreement about working going on here. We, as Americans, all think the same way. We don't know it, but we do. We're all questing after the American Dream. We believe that with hard work, courage, and determination we can achieve success and prosperity. I believe this, and I believe that the harder a person works with good intentions toward success, the more they essentially deserve this success. Nothing feels better to me than knowing that I was successful because I worked hard at it.

Australians have this motto that they call "Fair Dinkum". I've never actually heard a single Australian mutter those words, but, now that I know what it is, I see that they all live their lives by this motto. It's about being honest and good to your word, and it assures that everyone has a fair crack at whatever. (I've looked this up on wikipedia and consulted my panels of experts in family 385). So, it's a little bit like the anti-American Dream. This concept in essence, suggests that everyone should get a fair crack at success and prosperity regardless of how little or how much they've put into achieving that success.

When I realized this disparity, a lot of things became clear. I think Australians are in general lazy with regard to a lot of really important things, and they think I'm on a speed freak rush trip and freak out about too many things. I'm working because I think that I'm the only person who can make or break my success in life. They work, but they also build intricate social webs that appear to help them climb to success.

But, we have intricate webs as well. The wine industry, for example, seems extremely well connected amongst themselves, that's one of the things I love about it. And, it's not to say that Australians don't work hard because they do!

So, one model is not entirely autonomous, obviously, but you can see where the differences in opinion might emerge. It's really quite funny, realizing that your way of doing things isn't the only way that things are done.

I still believe that hard work, determination, and perserverance will lend themselves to success. I generally don't rely on others to do the things that I need to do because I find them, on a whole, unreliable when it comes to me being picky about the way I want things done. Self-preservation, I guess.

As Janis Joplin said, sorry Australia, "In the end, you're all you've got." I guess it will be my way for me!

Cheers